Kieran Kelly


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How do I feel?


An inability to find meaning in one’s life. Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone and unwanted. People who are lonely often crave human contact, but their state of mind often makes it more difficult to form connections with other people. Loneliness can also be described as social pain or an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation.


Sadness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of unhappiness or low mood. It is considered one of the basic human emotions. It is a normal response to situations that are upsetting, painful, or disappointing. Sometimes these feelings can feel more intense, while in other cases they might be more mild. An individual experience sadness can become quiet or lethargic, and withdraw themselves from others.


Agitation is the state or feeling of being agitated – anxious or worried. It is a psychological or physical restlessness, manifested by pacing, hand-wringing, or other activity. It is an unpleasant state of extreme arousal, and you can feel stirred up, excited, tense, confused, or irritable.


Lethargic is described as having a feeling of little energy; feeling unwell and unable to do anything. It is a condition marked by drowsiness and an unusual lack of energy and mental alertness. It can be caused by many things including illness, injury or drugs.


Guilt describes a sense of regret or responsibility that relates to actions taken. It is often described as a moral emotion that occurs when a person believes or realizes – accurately or not – that they have compromised their own standards of conduct. People may feel guilt over things they actually did wrong, things they believed were their fault, or things that they had no responsibility for.


Worthlessness can be described as a feeling of desperation and hopelessness. If you feel worthless, you may feel insignificant, useless, or believe you have nothing valuable to offer the world. It can also be described as a state of being unimportant and useless.

Suicidal Ideation

Suicidal thoughts, or suicidal ideation, refers to thinking about or planning suicide. Thoughts can range from creating a detailed plan to having a fleeting consideration. It does not include the final act of suicide. There are two types of suicidal ideation: passive and active. Passive suicidal ideation occurs when you wish you were dead or that you could die, but you do not have any plans to commit suicide. Active suicidal ideation, on the other hand, is not only thinking about it but having the intent to commit suicide, including planning how to do it.


Anger is an intense emotion you feel when something has gone wrong or someone has wronged you. It is typically characterized by feelings of stress, frustration, and irritation. Everybody feels angry from time to time. It is a perfectly normal response to frustrating or difficult situations. Anger only becomes a problem when it is excessively displayed and begins to affect your daily functioning and the way you relate with people. Anger can range in intensity, from a slight annoyance to rage. It can sometimes be excessive or irrational. In these cases, it can be hard to keep the emotion in check and could cause you to behave in ways you would not otherwise behave.


Alienation can be described as the separation or estrangement of individuals from themselves and others; a feeling of normlessness and powerlessness caused by separation and isolation from an individual’s sense of sense, family, society and work.


When you are anxious, you are very concerned or worried, but it can also refer to when you are quite interested in something. You might be anxious to improve your performance in something and it helps keep you focused. The word anxious has generally been used to describe when someone is very concerned about someone. In medical terms, to be anxious means feeling uneasy and worried but not always with a specific focus. Unmanaged anxiety can have a detrimental effect on a person’s mental and physical wellbeing.


Confused can have many meanings, but it is best described as a person feeling or exhibiting an inability to understand. The person may be feeling bewildered, perplexed, in a disordered state of mind, mixed up, jumbled, lacking sufficient mental abilities taking care of themselves at a particular moment or time.


If you feel miserable and bad about yourself much of the time, are increasingly preoccupied with negative ideas about your life and the world, do not feel motivated to do the things you used to enjoy or were good at, find everything an effort and sleep poorly, it is likely you have a form of depression. So, depression is a constant feeling of sadness, and loss of interest, which stops you doing your normal activities.


Disgusted is feeling very angry and upset by something that you do not approve of. It is an extreme feeling of dislike or disapproval of something. She was disgusted at the way she was treated.

Self Doubt

Self doubt can be understood as a feeling of uncertainty regarding one or more aspects of the self. It can be a lack of faith in oneself; a feeling of doubt or trust in one’s abilities.


Grief is a natural response to loss. It is the emotional suffering you feel when something you know or love is taken away. Often,the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger, denial, guilt and profound sadness.


Someone can humiliate another person by making them feel ashamed and foolish by injuring their dignity and pride. It can be to reduce someone to a lower position in one’s own eyes or another’s eyes. Ultimately it is an event perceived to cause loss of honor and shame, feeling powerless and being unjustly forced into a degrading position, by being ridiculed, and scorned at the hands of others.


Despair is the complete loss or absence of hope. It is the feeling that there is no hope and that you can do nothing to improve a difficult or worrying situation.


Lost can be living outside of trauma and suffering, ruined or destroyed physically or morally, a lost soul in desperation.


Someone who is lacking in energy or vitality and does not extend physical effort, destitute or having been emptied of life or living beings.


Concerned with something else. Having or showing excessive or compulsive concern with something, and not being able to engage in life in the present moment..


Someone who is powerless is unable to control or influence events, or to prevent something from happening, and you are devoid of strength or resources.


Is defined as the use of express or implied threats of violence or reprisal, or other intimidating behaviour that puts a person in immediate fear of the consequences in order to compel that person to act against his or her will.


Is feeling or expressing bitterness or indignation at having been treated unfairly. You feel angry because you have been forced to accept something that you do not like.


Rejection can be defined as the act of pushing someone or something away. One may experience rejection from one’s family of origin, a friend, a romantic partner, and the resulting emotions can often be painful. Rejection can be experienced on a large scale or in small ways in everyday life.


Suspicious is a feeling that somebody has done something wrong, illegal or dishonest, without having any proof. If you have a suspicious mind, you always think that people are behaving in an illegal or dishonest way. Suspicion can also be about a lack of trust in self and others.


Feeling threatened can mean having an uncertain chance of continued survival. It can also mean to say that you will harm someone or do something unpleasant or unwanted especially in order to make someone do what you want.


Terrified is a cause to feel extreme fear.

Self Hate

Self hate is very similar to self loathing is extreme criticism of oneself. It may feel as though nothing you do is good enough, or that you are unworthy or undeserving of good things in life.


Someone who is unhappy is someone who is sad, not satisfied, displeased or discontented, not happy or joyful, but sad or sorrowful on a continuous basis.


Victimization is the process of being victimized either from a physical or a psychological, emotional, moral or sexual point of view. Victimization refers to a person being made into a victim by another person. Victimization is a frequent event that occurs within an interpersonal context, often involving an abuse of power.

Now follows some of the more complex negative feelings:

Wronged and feeling that you are being treated with contempt or feel self contempt.

Negativity, amotivation and feeling negated leading to more complex feelings.

Conflict and conflict situations….Fighting and arguments. Antagonistic or constantly involved in antagonistic situations.

Ruminating…Constantly thinking and regretting. This is a very serious and common pattern of thinking in difficult situations of involved in negative or abusive behaviors or reactions.

Involved in toxic or manipulative situations and relationships that seem unending. Feeling anhedonia as if all the joy in life and the things you love doing are pointless, joyless. Anergia or feeling no energy for

Involved in situations that constantly leave you feeling vulnerable, victimized and experiencing vindictiveness, malevolence and outright violence or perpetrating the same.

Reacting instead of responding to people or situations.

Feeling totally out of control and helpless in most everyday situations and unable to cope.

Feeling stressed, lashing out entitled or other more extreme reactions to situations or people and general chaotic behaviours.

Drinking or drugging too much as a way to cope and getting further out of control, leading to an unmanageability with life in general. This can also be addictive behaviours such as gambling and pornography, eating and dieting and any behaviour that is causing you distress or those around you.

Feeling life has passed you by, that you have no hope of it ever being better and a nihilistic undercurrent in your life leaving you directionless.

Due to substance abuse or maladaptive practices or involvement in some form of coercive control relationship, feeling all your dreams are over or that your potential has been lost hopelessly for ever.

In a hospital, prison or mental institution due to your behaviour and still feeling you can control everything if you just got one more chance.

Feeling you have no voice, that you are invalid, a non person. That you have been , through your own actions or the actions of another.

Feeling you have hit rock bottom.

Feeling unwanted and a failure and unable to stop whatever it is you are doing.

Feeling minimised, gaslighted, diminished, walking on eggshells, deflected, dehumanised, confused and confounded, and apathetically existing feeling utterly worthless.

Sense of self devaluation.

Feeling you have destroyed everyone in your family and your friends and you are untouchable. There is no point in continuing.

Suicidal Ideation or suicide attempts.

Paddy Rafter

Paddy Rafter

If you need help with with Anxiety, Depression, Addiciton or are experiencing Coercive Control, Join me Community where I share my Music, Tips, Tools and Experiences.