Kieran Kelly


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Do you feel that Addiction/Dependency of any sort has taken over your life?

Written by Paddy Rafter

September 6, 2023

Do you feel that Addiction/Dependency of any sort has taken over your life?

If your answer is yes to the above statement, well then you are not alone. We have become a very addicted society. Often our addictions/dependencies of today have their roots in our childhood addictions/dependencies to the drugs of approval and appreciation.

We can be addicted/dependent to almost anything; from substances to behaviour, shopping to anger, being high, being low. Addiction/dependency knows no bounds.

Are you addicted/dependent?

Do you crave an addictive/dependent substance or behaviour to experience temporary pleasure or relief from pain, and being unable to give it up?

Do you use your addiction/dependency as a way to escape reality?

I have spent a lifetime in addiction/dependency, and for me it was hell on earth. It took away my pride, my self respect, my voice and left me with nothing.

It is the craving that you can never satisfy. My addiction/dependency caused me to hurt everybody around me and almost destroy their lives. I hurt and damaged my wife and children. It took my friends, my money, my dignity, my health and almost took my life.

You do not have to live like this.

Why do we do this?

The reasons are many and varied and very complex. For me it was because I was completely unaware of both myself and the world I was trying to exist in. I learned to zone out and live in a world of unreality. This was a response to the pain I was experiencing every day. This is the same for all of us. All of our stories are very similar.

This pain may stem from our experiences and perceptions of how we experienced our childhood or adolescence. It may have to do with our experiences in adulthood. There are no easy answers.

Fundamentally addiction/dependency in its full blown sense is an inability to cope with the world and the pain we experience. Understanding addiction/dependency in this way helped to create “Act Eight” of the “Sixteen Axioms” of “The 48 Acts” which proved to be so valuable to me in my recovery.

Addiction/dependency as a way of coping.

Do you use your addiction/dependency as a way of coping?

I did.

Do you use your addiction/dependency as a way to escape reality?

I did.

Do you use your addiction/dependency as a way to escape pain?

I did.

Do you use your addiction/dependency as a way to escape you?

I did.

Both you and I are the same. None of us asked for this. We were not born addicted/dependent. Something happened on our journey to cause this. More often than not it was because of our programming from childhood. All of us grow up with experiences and expectations from our families of origin. We expect the world to be a certain way, and we expect people to treat us in a certain way. When these expectations are not met we can become anxious, worried, uneasy, troubled. This uneasiness changes our programming, and causes our suffering and our pain. This is where “Act Five” and “Act Six” of the “Sixteen Axioms” of “The 48 Acts” can help you so much.

They offer you a very different understanding of why we get into the difficulties that we get into. Do you find that when you are in addiction/dependency you tend to look backwards and try to find who is to blame for your present circumstances? I know that I did. The problem for me was that that blame brought up a lot of hurts and resentments both of myself and of others and I tended to get stuck in these feelings. Do you find the same thing can happen to you?

This is why I created “Act Eleven” of the “Sixteen Key Actions” of “The 48 Acts”. It was a game changer for me, and I would love to hear from you to see how it might be of value for you.

Do you act out on your feelings and then find that you feel even worse?

I did this all of the time during my active addiction/dependency. When I was full of all these bad feelings like anger, disappointment, resentment, fear, shame, hurt etc I believed that other people were to blame for how i was feeling. Because I could not understand or cope with these feelings I offloaded them on to other people. This really only had the effect of making me feel worse and I perceived that people now hated me even more.

Do you feel like it is the same for you?

This is why I created “Act Four” of the “Sixteen False Beliefs” of “The 48 Acts”.

It was of real benefit to me. Have a read and let me know if it is the same for you.

Do you want to live a life free from addiction/dependency?

Do you want to live a life free from fear, anxiety, worries and troubles?

Do you want to learn to live your life in reality and not be afraid anymore?

If so, I am convinced that “The 48 Acts” and all that they contain can offer you a way to live well in this chaotic world, with peace, harmony and stability.

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