Kieran Kelly


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What do we mean by Depression ?

You feel miserable and bad about yourself most of the time and are increasingly preoccupied with negative ideas about your life and the world. You do not feel motivated about most of the things you used to enjoy or were good at. You find everything an effort. You sleep poorly. Then it is likely you have a form of depression.

Different types of depression exist, with symptoms ranging from low mood to severe or catatonic inertia. Generally depression does not result from a single event, but from a mix of events and factors.

Depression is on a continuum with good mental health conditions on the lower end, to severe mental health effects on the top end. As we said, it is not life events that make us depressed, it is how we perceive and respond to these events that makes us unwell. Depression doesn’t happen overnight, you do not wake up depressed one morning. Your slide into depression is incremental and without awareness you suddenly arrive there without any trace or knowledge of how you got there.

Depression affects how you think, how you feel, and how you behave and exist in the world.

Paddy Rafter

Paddy Rafter

If you need help with with Anxiety, Depression, Addiciton or are experiencing Coercive Control, Join my Facebook Community where I share my Music, Tips, Tools and Experiences.

Feelings Caused by Depression:

Sad, miserable, unhappy ,irritable, overwhelmed, guilty, frustrated, lacking in confidence, indecisive and unable to concentrate.

You may or most likely are already medically diagnosed with depression. You may be on medication. There is no shame or guilt associated with taking medication and it may indeed be the case that you might have to remain on medication for a long time. However, ‘The 48 Acts” will significantly ameliorate and alleviate your feelings and their causes. Your medication is a constant and is necessary. You can work this programme in association with any medication you are on. You may find in time that you may lessen your dosage, end it or not, as the case may be. It is not significant.

The bad feelings of depression usually start gradually. You slowly become aware that you are feeling miserable and unhappy most of the time. It gets broader and deeper.

You become indecisive, you are unable to concentrate and keep your mind on anything – even reading or any form of satisfaction and relaxation.

As you move further along the continuum, you feel as if you are looking at the world through fog and find yourself strangely untouched by the bad or sad things that happen to others. You can be disappointed with yourself, feel irritable, frustrated and angry with yourself and others. You feel powerless to fight against it. At night, you can’t get to sleep because of the worries going round and round in your head, or you wake early and you can’t get back to sleep. Or maybe you find yourself sleeping all day – a thick, unrefreshing sleep which is just a means of not being awake, a means of shutting out the suffering, and whenever you wake , you still feel exhausted. Perhaps you can’t eat. Or perhaps you keep eating. Your depression is like a weight on you, an irritant on your skin, a weight on your eyelids, a pressure on your ribs, the constant churning of the tummy.

Depression is a maladaptive behaviour as a way to deal with reality.
Depression is a response to trauma.

Depression is an inability to cope with the reality of the world, as our perceptions are misconceived, deeply flawed and damaged . Thus we can see that depression is a response to our programming and, indeed, to our drugs of approval and appreciation.

It must be said and indeed is often the case that depression is the result of a singular traumatic event. If this traumatic event has occurred in our adolescence or adulthood, it is natural for us to feel depressed because it is the reality of the situation. In time the depression will lift as our acceptance of the situation becomes more radical and mature, and we learn to live life in reality, understanding and accepting what has happened.

Unfortunately some of us are unable to do this for various different reasons and this can lead to a lifelong depression unless we change our reality.

Most of us reading this who have experienced life long deep dark depression will know that it’s causes, though they may be many faceted and multifarious in origin, it is really of no particular concern to us. We cannot feel, we cannot feel motivation. We constantly blame ourselves for our lack of motivation, our failures, our inability to live life, to meet the expectations of others or our own self expectations . We feel ashamed of how we feel, how we look, how we act.

We feel worthless. As this feeling of worthlessness grows we more and more withdraw from society and those close to us and retreat into the darkness. We exist but we don’t exist. We inhabit a twilight world, the world between despair and nothingness .

Fundamentally this is caused by our programming. Our programming from a very early age, our faulty programming. Therefore you can see it is not your fault. It is also an unanswerable craving for the drugs we need the most, approval and appreciation.

We are certain that we will never get this drug again, the approval we so badly need and we cannot imagine life without it. We are the junkies of the soul.

When you are in this place, beyond meaning, beyond matters, you have descended into hell again.

The only way to recover and to live a life that is meaningful, rewarding and joy filled is to jettison all your programming.

You need to make a decision to understand that the drugs you crave are not real for you anymore, they never were. They are an illusion, so you spend your life trying to live an illusion honestly and you have obviously failed to do so.

The killer one for those of us who really know, is the complete absence of motivation, way beyond the meaning of indifference. You cannot imagine anything good ever in your life fundamentally because you have been faultily programmed, and you have lived life on false assumptions.

If you want or are willing to try, even in the smallest way, to begin to live a real life, even if you fundamentally feel you are not worthy of it, then if you read ‘The 48 Acts” and you follow the suggestions within, it will lead you on the only true path. It will give you information, leading to knowledge, leading to understanding, leading to awareness.

Your life, such as it is, is in your own estimation unlivable anyway, therefore you have nothing to lose, but you have the world to gain.

I myself was afflicted with depression for many many years. Through this voyage of self discovery I learned how to deal with it and me. I am not telling you to do anything, I am asking you to examine what I say and if you wish, try to initiate it in your own life. The reward will be incredible to you.

Remember this, we who have lived in darkness for so long, recognise a light, even a chink of light when we see it and we know it is the truth because Truth is inescapable.

You will see the world in a new way, an unprogrammed way, free from your addictions, programming and preoccupations. You will live happily.

If I have got well, then you can also.

Paddy Rafter

If you need help with with Anxiety, Depression, Addiciton or are experiencing Coercive Control, Join me Community where I share my Music, Tips, Tools and Experiences.